Since I have been commanded to write a blog today here goes....I found out today that smart chat has asked my manager about me even before my test results come in....let's hope thats a good thing.I'm trying not to get too excited about it because I obviously didn't make it last time even though i should have. I just hope that it will be a jump start to something greater...
On other points I'm rethinking everything about school turns out my major is going into more of theories of programming, and I really would rather program. I'm not all that great at theories, i deal better with realities. So i think I'm going to change my major to actual programming.
My house is getting fixed and soon i will be able to move my trailer next to it and connect to the two and turn my trailer into just bedrooms. Still quite a ways away, but it's getting there.. septic tank will be down as soon as i get the money to do that....then trailer will be moved and we will live in that till the house is ready....then it's connection time.
I'm finding new friends and for me that is a big accomplishment, I guess working at a call center as a customer service rep has really helped my demeanor with people. My new friends are great, and I wish we could hang out more.
Work is going good stats are back up after that douche of a manager I had.
Speaking of which I have to go back to work since I'm just on break....
Monday, January 23, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
New Day....New me?
Today has been a great day I woke up feeling good. I got some video content edited. Time for me to go to work and not even a dumb ass on the street to pull out in front of me to make my day worse for the wear. Well I'm headed into work now i'll go ahead and post more on this after work.
Busy day at work, but I'm still in the best of moods and people around me have noticed the change ....how funny your mood can change the way people see you...on break now, will write more later if I can.
Busy day at work, but I'm still in the best of moods and people around me have noticed the change ....how funny your mood can change the way people see you...on break now, will write more later if I can.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Struggles
I have been contemplating on how to really start my blog....and i really still haven't come up with an answer. So i have decided just to start typing. I have found a new friend and in my world that means a whole lot to me. Ashley I'm talking about you now lol. In my world the friends I have found either only call you when they need something or they try and take your wife from you. These are the things I compete with everyday. Feeling inadequate as a husband and father is probably on top of my list. That being said to find a friend who I don't believe who would ever intentially hurt me is one of the most precious gifts ever.
I'm normally persecuted for my beliefs from the jump, or people pretend to believe the same way I do, but don't live up to the standards of my beliefs. I guess it is wrong to hold other people to my standards, but I just feel like if I can live and be a good person by my standards. Why can't other people?
I read somewhere that if you want to be a better person you must surround yourself with people better than you. Ultimately I think that is because you can't learn from somebody who knows less than you do so that person becomes a sort of leech, and I don't mean all people but certain people in my life whom I will not name particularly, and instead of sharing information with each other its a one way street.
I will give anything to anyone who is willing to help me back in my time of need as well. I think its time to rethink some of the people in my life starting with the main leech who lives with me, that is not my wife. Time to move into a new home, get new friends (hi Ashley hope you know I consider you one of these new friends ), and definitely get back to being me. I've drifted so far from myself I've forgotten I am the one who controls my moods and my destiny. Empathy can be a powerful thing when you tend to lose yourself because of the people around you. When your emotions are changed on a whim by the people around you, sometimes you forget those are not your own emotions and then lose yourself.
I think its time to get back to my roots again maybe even start practicing magick once again. Some people may say I'm going to hell, and my reply is always to ask them why and when they say because your not Christian, I have only one reply to them,....neither was Jesus. I happen to. Believe there is a god and a goddess and this is based on more than just hearsay or beliefs I've been told. Look around us everything (besides single cell organisms) have both a male and a female half. Take us for example we have males and females I just don't thing that is a coincidence. Animals have both male and females, even trees and plants have males and females (yes they do look it up the germination of plants) sure god created us in his image, but god created women in the goddess image. My beliefs are a bit different than that, but the symantics are not necessary when speaking about logic. So if I'm going to hell for thinking outside what I have been told my entire life, and not just taking it for what people have told me, guess I will see you there, because anybody who is telling me I'm going to hell better read their own Bible, judging people is a sin that is also punishable by hell.
SHEEPLE
That's what I call people who are told something and they just believe it because they think they have to have faith. You can have faith and not be blind to the world around you. I can discuss religion, but it seems most other people can not because they always have a closed mind from what they've been told. I don't know if Jesus really lived and performed miracles, I WASN'T THERE, which means to me he could have , or maybe he was just a guy like me trying to make it in the world.
Sometimes I think about what I've read in the bible and it seems to skip a lot of Jesus life when he was younger. I think that means possibly Jesus had a regular life making mistakes and learning just like we all do, then one day god sends him a message oh your my son maybe even coming down to earth with the goddess and telling Jesus he is the son of a god and goddess. I like to imagine how that would make me feel. Maybe Jesus rebelled against it for a while, or had a mental breakdown because he couldn't process that, maybe that's why part of his life is not in the bible. Maybe Jesus hated god for only making him a carpenter and had to learn life's lessons in order to understand and see the true meaning of what he was supposed to teach and why he must have had to have humble roots to show the people he was no better than the lowliest of sinners.
Yes I'm saying I believe Jesus was not perfect , I know burn me at the stake AGAIN (little reincarnation humor), I believe he was human who learned to be something more, and that gives me hope for myself. It gives me hope for all of us.
HOPE - it's a powerful thing.
FAITH - belief in something you don't fully understand
LOVE - what we should have for everybody no matter what
Everybody is fighting a battle - so remember when your fighting yours; you don't know what the person next to you is going through it may be worse than your battles so be kind to everyone
I know I've switched topics a bit and I'm sorry for that
With that I say goodnight
Peace, love, and happiness to everyone
I read somewhere that if you want to be a better person you must surround yourself with people better than you. Ultimately I think that is because you can't learn from somebody who knows less than you do so that person becomes a sort of leech, and I don't mean all people but certain people in my life whom I will not name particularly, and instead of sharing information with each other its a one way street.
I will give anything to anyone who is willing to help me back in my time of need as well. I think its time to rethink some of the people in my life starting with the main leech who lives with me, that is not my wife. Time to move into a new home, get new friends (hi Ashley hope you know I consider you one of these new friends ), and definitely get back to being me. I've drifted so far from myself I've forgotten I am the one who controls my moods and my destiny. Empathy can be a powerful thing when you tend to lose yourself because of the people around you. When your emotions are changed on a whim by the people around you, sometimes you forget those are not your own emotions and then lose yourself.
I think its time to get back to my roots again maybe even start practicing magick once again. Some people may say I'm going to hell, and my reply is always to ask them why and when they say because your not Christian, I have only one reply to them,....neither was Jesus. I happen to. Believe there is a god and a goddess and this is based on more than just hearsay or beliefs I've been told. Look around us everything (besides single cell organisms) have both a male and a female half. Take us for example we have males and females I just don't thing that is a coincidence. Animals have both male and females, even trees and plants have males and females (yes they do look it up the germination of plants) sure god created us in his image, but god created women in the goddess image. My beliefs are a bit different than that, but the symantics are not necessary when speaking about logic. So if I'm going to hell for thinking outside what I have been told my entire life, and not just taking it for what people have told me, guess I will see you there, because anybody who is telling me I'm going to hell better read their own Bible, judging people is a sin that is also punishable by hell.
SHEEPLE
That's what I call people who are told something and they just believe it because they think they have to have faith. You can have faith and not be blind to the world around you. I can discuss religion, but it seems most other people can not because they always have a closed mind from what they've been told. I don't know if Jesus really lived and performed miracles, I WASN'T THERE, which means to me he could have , or maybe he was just a guy like me trying to make it in the world.
Sometimes I think about what I've read in the bible and it seems to skip a lot of Jesus life when he was younger. I think that means possibly Jesus had a regular life making mistakes and learning just like we all do, then one day god sends him a message oh your my son maybe even coming down to earth with the goddess and telling Jesus he is the son of a god and goddess. I like to imagine how that would make me feel. Maybe Jesus rebelled against it for a while, or had a mental breakdown because he couldn't process that, maybe that's why part of his life is not in the bible. Maybe Jesus hated god for only making him a carpenter and had to learn life's lessons in order to understand and see the true meaning of what he was supposed to teach and why he must have had to have humble roots to show the people he was no better than the lowliest of sinners.
Yes I'm saying I believe Jesus was not perfect , I know burn me at the stake AGAIN (little reincarnation humor), I believe he was human who learned to be something more, and that gives me hope for myself. It gives me hope for all of us.
HOPE - it's a powerful thing.
FAITH - belief in something you don't fully understand
LOVE - what we should have for everybody no matter what
Everybody is fighting a battle - so remember when your fighting yours; you don't know what the person next to you is going through it may be worse than your battles so be kind to everyone
I know I've switched topics a bit and I'm sorry for that
With that I say goodnight
Peace, love, and happiness to everyone
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
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